Well my weight is my rant for the evening. Once upon a time I was a sknny guy. When I went military in 1982 I weighed 166. When I left basic training 6 weeks later I weighed 180. From 1983 till 1991 I ranged from 149 (illness) up to about 191. When I remarried in 1991 I was in 170's and by the time I left the military in 1995 I weighed 221. I wish it was muscle. It aint. Well here it is in 2003 and I wiegh 255. WTF.....And with all the stress lately, I seem to want to compulsively eat. And drink. I have been drinking way too much. Going to grave shift may help, no more evening drinking, and im too tired when I get home in the morning to crack a bottle. Hope so. So I need to diet. I'm tired of being fat. And frankly its my own fault, my will power is lousy. I don't want 6 abs....6 packs gave me the abs I have now. I just want to be able to bend over and see my toes. Another issue lately is my ankle. I sprained it severely in 1997 and it continues to give me problems. It is an inconsistent aching with occasional sharp pains. Its making it hard to get on an excercise program. Oh well.....gotta try harder....

I'm working the night shift 11pm-9am) which is killing me health wise (you try sleeping when three teenagers are fighting over one computer) Had to meet with a bankruptcy attorney and make some decisions....chap 13 or 7 mostly......we don't seem to have a choice. luckily we should be able to keep or cars. My youngest son is getting more unmanageable by the day, and may end up in a residential treatment center. My youngest duaghter is now failing 7th grade. and through it all.....im just tired.

I finally updated and found a place to host my website. http://w3.bllvwa.cablespeed.com/~karldswenson/ I certainly make no claims for being profound or meaningful. In reality I just wanted to see if I could do it, and to kind of share about me to family and friends. I sdtart working grave shift tonight, and I am beat from not having gotten my sleep schedule tweaked yet. it will come in time. In between calls at work I plan to start writing my faith page, which is goign to be a hard one, as i have under gone many changes that I want to put on paper. Tune in for more later.

So here I am at 4am. That right there is a bad sign.....I should be sleeping, I want to be sleeping, and I need to be sleeping. I am actually working a 4 hour cover shift, created by the involuntary departure of a coworker. What better way to maintain awakeness then to blog? So there I was at home. I got off work at 4:30, and finally found my way home at around 530 or 6. Talked to C for a while. Made the Children dinner and ate a large salad, then went to bed to catch a few hours sleep....totally fruitlessly of course. Could not fall asleep. So i took a hot bath and dozed in the tub a bit. N came home with a friend and they watched tv while I went to bed. Then C came home and all hell broke loose. She and N were arguing constantly. Grrr..... Finally went to sleep at 130 or so, just in to to get up at 3. What fun

Well, this is post one, and already I am muddled at what to whine about. I have so much happening I don't know where to begin. I need to resolve my home life, I need to reslove my faith, I need to resolve my finances.....ARGH!! So I guess this will be a way to see my thoughts on paper and try to evaluate them as to foolish or not We will see what happens.