Every year at Thanksgiving we tend to pause, and consider what we have to be thankful for.  This year it’s a bit harder than usual.

Back in August my grandmother passed away, and event that shook me deeply.  It was not that I was particularly close to her mind you.  I shared her with a hundred or more other people in my immediate family.

It was the knowledge of who she was, and the vacant place she leaves behind in the circle that I envision my family.

I still cry for her.  Being one of her pallbearers was both the highest honor and the hardest task I have ever performed.

But still, I am not bereft of family.  Indeed, I am blessed as at the age of 47, I still have both of my parents, 12 aunts and uncles, 38 cousins, 3 siblings (one may be missing or estranged, but she still counts in my heart) and 4 kids who make my world filled with joy.

And I have some of the best friends imaginable.  You may have great friends, but sorry, mine are better.

One of them, Dave, just lost his dad.  I feel the loss as if it was my dad, because Dave has been very much like my own brother all these years.

Friday morning I fly to California to attend funeral services for Dave’s father.

It is hard to put into words how I feel.  Gary, Dave’s dad, gave me the gift of football, specifically, infecting me with 49er fever back in 1981.  I may root for the Seahawks, living as I do near Seattle, but I am a 49er faithful to my core.

At Gary’s service, I will not be palbearer…I will be playing guitar and speaking.

I am at lost in the amazement of being asked two incredible honors in one occasion.  But Dave knows my passion for music, as well as well as my gift of speaking.  I will do my best to rise to the occasion, not for my acclaim, but for the honor of Gary and Dave.

Unfortunately, Dave’s loss only brings to the forefront the reality of my own families situation.

My mom continues to fight lung cancer.  Let me be frank, i hate cigarettes.  Several people I know smoke and my deepest wish is that all tobacco plants wither and die.  I know it is their choice, but I hate that my mom has lung cancer from too many years dependence on Pall Mall Golds.

Despite the odds, she does well.  She has lived nearly 5 years after being given 12 months to live.

Take that, doctors.

But as I continue to grow older I face the reality.  As my father recent buried his mom, so too will I likely bury mine as well.

So be it.  This weekend I get another chance to see her on my trip, and i will take what comfort I can from it, and many similar trips in the next year.

So Thanksgiving…this year it is a funny one.  In the last 9 years I have lost my in laws, my (step) mom, an uncle, my grandmother, and now, one of my best friends dads.  In all due respect, death can politely stick it, and ignore me for the next few years.  I have had my fill.

Even so, it only serves to enhance my thanksgiving for the living family I have the friends I have, and the blessings I have been given.

In uncertain times I have a stable job, at least as stable as you can get in the high tech industry.  I have friends and family.  I have music and laughter.   My health may have taken a few hits lately, bit overall, I am OK.

To round it out, here are a few things I am thankful for.

My friends who remind me of the reality of who I am, and the greatness of my mediocrity.

Barack Obama:  If you do what you promise, our world will improve, and if not, my bogging will benefit as I can expose your lies and failures.  Either way, I win.

My best friend in the world.  You know who you are.  Without you I am nothing.

My Kids, who keep me humble…and irritated.

My Coworkers who keep me sane in our relative insanity.

Music.  Nietzsche was right.  Without music life would be a mistake.

Finally for life itself.  I quote I once read seem pertinent.  It said essentially that the point was not whether they lived happily ever after, but that they lived at all.

I agree.  Life is the real reward.  Death may be an adventure, as Peter Pan said, but life is a greater one.

Peace and blessing to all, reader, family and friends alike.

Stand up, on this Thanksgiving Day, stand upon your feet.  Believe in man.  Soberly and with clear eyes, believe in your own time and place.  There is not, and there never has been a better time, or a better place to live in.  ~Phillips Brooks

Karl

Leaning Straight Up

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