So it’s Dad’s day again.  This year mine was a bit slow and relaxed, but in the end very satisfying.

I cooked two of my kids dinner, and unexpectedly my oldest son, the Navy guy, showed up and had dinner with us as well.

Good thing I made enough.    I did on purpose, actually.  I intentionally cooked the larger roast, and made extra veggies and potatoes.  I think I knew somehow that he was coming.  Or maybe I just hoped.

He walked in 2 minutes after we sat down to eat.  Good timing.

This year I really thought about what it means to be a father.  I sometimes feel like if the score cards were to be evaluated, I would be a failure.  As  provider did I really provide enough?  I always felt like we struggled more than we should have.  Was I a good enough role model?  Did I teach them the lessons they need?

And while I believe I could have done better, apparently my kids think I did OK.  I guess that’s how you really measure it.  My kids are well adjusted and doing OK.  They make mistakes but they recover, the regroup and they move forward.

I guess I cannot ask for more.

Of course, this leads me to my own father.  My dad is an amazing man, something I should tell him more often I suppose.

From my earliest memories a few things always stood out.  He was so tall, so strong and so able.  He could build anything.  When I was younger he built by hand a complete HO railroad in our garage, laying track by hand and assembling the engines and cars.  He still has some of the engines on display in his house.

He built model ships, he built patios and a brick BBQ.  He even made a canoe by hand, one of those Popular Mechanics kits from the 60s I think.  I remember that canoe on top of our car on vacation.

He rode motorcycles and sailed sailboats.  He was also a member of the US Marine Corp during the  Korean war.

But his job…my father was always  my hero.  He was a Public Safety officer.  His department traded duties between the firehouse and the squad car, so my dad was both a policeman and a fireman.  When he retired, he retired with Badge #2, the second highest seniority in his department.

Talk about your role models.

He taught me to respect authority, to open doors for women, and how to take pride in building things properly.  I may not have his talents and abilities, but I understand the values that drive them.

When my parents divorced in 1972 I was devastated.  I missed him.   I eagerly anticipated every weekend with him that we could have.  He stayed in our lives and continued to teach by example the lessons I needed.

But I never saw him as much as I wanted.

After I graduated, my mom moved away and I went to live with him.  He had remarried and asked me to stand in his wedding party, an honor I returned to him in my second marriage.

He was patient with me as I was still a willful kid, and I am sure I caused him and his wife some despair when I dropped out of college and for a while seemed a little aimless.

But I think he was proud of me in my eventual choice of a military career, and I think that he never stopped believing that someday I would settle down and become a man.

I think that sums up my father.  He believed in me and even if he disagreed with my choices, he respected my making them, which is how I have tried to treat my children as well.  I cannot make their choices.  I can only respect and support them, and offer advice when asked.

Now he is retired, but he still takes care of his house and he still amazes me with how well he does things.  I should hope to some day be as handy as he still is.

My father is an amazing man.  I can only hope that  my children see me in the same light.

I guess that’s the whole point.  We are measured by our successes, but in a way we are also measured by the success of the children we parent.  They are our successes.

I may not tell my kids how proud of them I am as often as I should, but I am.

And likewise, I never tell him how proud of him I am as often as I should either.

I am told quite often how much like him I am.

I can think of no higher praise.

LSU

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